Phew.
I think I'll need a vacation to recover from my vacation!
If there's one thing that Thailand is famous for, it's the wild nightlife. The place we are staying at in Phuket (Patong) is the most lively place in Thailand short of Bangkok or Pattaya.
The first night I went out, I was in shock for hours. The place is absolutely crazy. The main street is lit up like a Christmas tree, with signs upon signs for all the restaurants, pubs, bars and strip joints all competing for the almighty dollar. There is loud dance music pumping away
nonstop everywhere, and hundreds of beautiful, scantily clad Thai women all vying for tourists' attention.
I sat down at a table in an open-air collection of bars and was immediately mobbed by women. Normally, I wouldn't find this altogether unenjoyable, but the intensity of the attack was quite hard to deal with. I mean, I practically had to beat them off with a stick!
Plus, some wise-ass Thai with a Polaroid thought it'd be funny to drop a giant python around my neck without warning or prior consent, and I used up a month's supply of adrenaline in about 3 seconds. It's a damn big snake!
So it didn't take me long to move over to a table with other people already sitting there--try to blend in as part of a group, so to speak. I sat with this young Scottish couple, and after brief introductions they made an observation that caused the Coke I was drinking to snort out of my nose. Turns out half the women there were actually men!
Now, I'm neither blind nor an idiot. I can recognize a transvestite when I see one. But these were not transvestites. These were Thai men that had undergone a complete sex change operation, anatomically correct to the last detail (I know because they seem to take great pleasure in demonstrating this very fact publicly to everyone).
During the next hour, I underwent intensive training under the tutelage of these Scottish veterans, and it wasn't long before I could accurately figure out which women were women and which were not. Scary stuff, though. I can only imagine what happens to the drunken American sailors when they anchor here!
All in all, though, the energy here is absolutely incredible. There are lots of young European tourists my age everywhere out for a good time, and once you come to accept the oddities of the place, it's absolutely fantastic fun.
Funny thing--last night I was standing outside a dance club getting a little fresh air when this guy comes up to me and says "Vous etes Francais!" Surprised, I said yes and he said "Je le savais! T'as le 'look!'" Then he just walked off. Seems like nothing short of a cowboy hat can mask my good genetics, eh!
Earlier this afternoon there was a rainstorm and I went out jet-skiing in the ocean again. Now, granted, this is probably not the smartest thing in the world, and had I actually slept last night I may have thought twice about it, but it was great nonetheless! (For safety, Kyle and the Thai guys who rented me the jet-ski kept close watch on me from the beach. Oh, and I had a life-jacket on, too. Nothing to worry about. Perfectly safe).
The waves were much bigger and it was like riding a non-stop water rollercoaster, with the jet ski launching off several feet off each wave and into the next. Too bad none of it's on film--I'm sure it would have made great footage. I only fell off the jet ski once (more like smacked off, really), after which I quickly learned that coming into a wave sideways is not very smart!
OK, I'm going to try to get a little rest now. I suppose even the highly nutritious protein shakes I've brought along can't substitute for good old-fashioned sleep forever!
Cheers,
Gabriel
